...with me, Charlie.
This was a very exhausting weekend, and I'll tell you why. The short version: school, bath, dog park.
It all started on Friday after Mom got home from her daily abandonment of me. I gave her my usual kissies and nose nibbles, and got my dinner, but then we all got in the car to go to the Big House of Toys and Treats (aka Petsmart). which is great because, well, it's full of toys and treats there, but then instead of wandering around enjoying all the sites and smells, we went into this little circus ring in the middle of the place, where there were these three people with a little nervous white puppy who was smaller than me but one month older than me whose name was Mooshie. Mooshie was very nervous because she had never met any dogs before, so I went up and introduced myself and was very friendly to her and also her people because who knows they might have treats. THEN this lady came into the ring and tried to teach us things! I mean! It's like she didn't know that I already knew things, so I showed her how smart I was, and she used me to show everyone how to learn things and she gave me a massage and everything was going great BUT THEN SHE PICKED ME UP BY THE SCRUFF OF MY NECK AND I JUST HUNG THERE LIKE A FISH ON A LINE but oddly it didn't bother me and i just hung there in the air all relaxed until she put me down, but Mom and Dad couldn't stop laughing which I thought was kind of rude, and now they want the lady to teach them how to pick me up that way so they can take a picture and laugh some more. Which *I* think is another way of saying "Charlie won't you pee on the couch again?" Innyways, apparently we're going back next week to do this again, if you can believe it. I can't imagine what else there could be to learn, but if there are treats involved, I guess I'm game.
Saturday. Mom and Dad abandoned me to go see a stupid movie THAT THEY'D ALREADY SEEN and then eat fish and chips at some dumb place that dogs can't go to. Finally they came home and gave me dinner and let me play in the backyard so I did and was rolling around and rolling around and rolling around and then Mom's all "wait a minute, what are you rolling in" and I'm all "My own poop, of course!" and then you would have thought the world was ending, the way they acted and next thing I know they've tossed me in the bathtub and are spraying water on me and shampooing me and going "Eeeeeewww" and it was just awful and I decided they must hate me an awful lot.
Naturally Sunday I thought they'd be returning me to Lost Dog Rescues for a refund or another dog that fits their exacting standards. But surprisingly this was not the case. Instead we drove over to MY JEAN AND JEFF'S HOUSE where BELLA MY GIRLFRIEND lives! And THEN we all drove to this thing called a dog park, which is a park for dogs. And there were all these other dogs that I never before in there with no leashes on chasing balls and each other and stuff and we went in there and they took OUR leashes off and Bella ran off and I followed her and then these BIG dogs came over and sniffed at us and then they ran away and then they came running up really fast chasing a ball and totally RAN OVER ME which was VERY surprising but i was brave and I went after them even though they made me nervous and then they ran over me AGAIN but I continued to be brave even when one really big guy stood over me and drooled on my head because THAT'S HOW I ROLL. So we stayed at the park of dogs for a long time and I really liked it so much and I hope we go back because, yes, we did leave finally and go home and i slept and slept and slept and slept because IT WAS SO EXCITING!!
This has been The Charlie Report.
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