The Charlie Report for Wednesday, July 29, 2009...

...with me, Charlie.

I have to apologize for the long gap between Charlie Reports, as my support staff has not been as supportive as it could be. And so much has happened, too, that is so great and interesting and scary and everything! Maybe most important is I learned how to climb over that stupid gate Mom and Dad used to keep me in the kitchen during the day, so they had to take it down and now I get to be in the living room any time I want--ha! I heard them talking about getting a new taller gate, so I'm being very good and not making any messes in the living room so they won't do it. Well, no messes while they're at work. When they come home, it's a different story, but that's their fault for not paying attention to me ALL THE TIME, which they should be doing.

We've had lots of visitors, and they all loved me, of course. One time this Suzanne and this Tracey came to our house (supposedly they came up here to see a concert, but really it was to meet me), and they stayed in one of the secret guestrooms nobody lets me play in, and they both loved me, even though they were allergic, and I kissed them a lot and cleaned out their ears. They are my girlfriends now... Then this last weekend this bunch of people came to visit me named Kathy and Bob and Alex and Tommy, and Kathy and Bob were old and boring like Mom and Dad, but Alex was 11 and Tommy was 2.5, and they were lots and lots and lots of fun and we played and played and played and played and ran and played and then they got a hose out and that was not as much fun because why would you want to be sprayed with a hose? but they thought it was great and Tommy's diagper got really really really big and heavy and I tried to help with it because it seemed interesting but for some reason the boring grownups wouldn't let me. And then there was all this food that smelled so good but guess what THEY MADE ME STAY OUTSIDE WHILE THEY ATE INSIDE and I cried and barked and they just laughed at me because it turns out they are all mean, so i just was sad and licked the porch under the grill until they let me back in. After the fun people left I was so tired out i fell asleep on the hard hard floor and Mom had to scoop me up onto the bed and i slept and slept and slept. I wish boys would come visit me more often because they are lots and lots and lots of fun, even when they are mean and don't let me eat dinner with them.

I could tell you lots more, but this is already really long, and I have some investigation to do: I've heard rumors that I'm going to get to visit someplace called "kennel" this weekend, so I need to find out what that's all about. I'll let you know when I find out anything.

This has been The Charlie Report.